Welcome to poetry corner:

In the past there was no bigger game,

A relegation match in all but name,

The pack found their groove,

Yinka's legs they did move,

And the team lapped up their fans acclaim.

...by Guy Whatmore aged 22 and three quarters

Our Scrum Half who in need of a fence,

Came across as a teensy bit dense,

Without a plumb line,

His toolkit did not shine,

So a builder completes three weeks hence.

...by Guy Watmoor aged 22 and three quarters

Hackney in the shit

But did well against Letchworth

Still need to play good

....by Lawrence Mils (LLB) hons aged 34

Player Ratings:

Dave Lewis: Remained grounded during all scrums. 10/10

Laurence Mills: Messaged to say he had a good story about a car accident. Never told it. 10/10

James Noble: Can train Wednesday because he's unemployed and 'doesn't have anything else to do' 10/10

Jonny Crockett:

James Legg: Did a full torpedo kick in the warm up. Condone that. 10/10

Ben Sudell: Said he would 'go straight to source' re tape. But in a nice way. 10/10

Ben Chamberlain: Definitely did something to deserve it 10/10

Matt Strong: At pace with tekkers. Finally. 6.5/10

Sam Wilkinson: Does not, I repeat NOT, have a fence. 10/10

Ollie Jenner: A genuine contender for worst tattoo in the club. Fortunate to be good looking 10/10

Yinka Busari: Adding chat to rig, pace, tackles and tries. 10/10

Ultan Murphy: Remember when someone else used to kick sticks? 10/10

Guy Watmore: Can make cover tackles as well as write match reports. The full package. 10/10

Adam Eagle: Flew down the wing like a.... big bird of some kind. 10/10

Joe Askham: 'relief that is almost tidal washes over me in a awesome wave' 10/10

Sam Alderson: Has a recurring work meeting at 7pm on Wednesdays. 10/10

Fraser Tait: Expected to share dates of his wedding and stag imminently. 10/10

Ludo Bathgate: maaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyte. 10/10