In a break from your regularly scheduled match reporting, it has been decided that instead of whimsical musings on the geographical peculiarities of Garden Cities or epics tomes on glorious sunsets, details of the game of rugby shall be included in match reports going forward.

Needless to say, we've chosen the perfect match to start out on this brave new venture.


Harpenden are good at rugby. We knew this. They scored some good tries to prove this. A few of those tries though could probably have "Hackney RFC" listed in the assist column.

But what about Hackney's performance?

When pushed for comment post-game*, HR TV Correspondent, birthday boy and professional anecdote re-teller Laurence Mills had this to say: "It wasn't 100% sh*t"

For me Clive, there's a lot of truth in that. And here are couple of of those specific points that weren't "100% sh*t"

  • Yinka is carving out a real niche for himself in the "didn't expect him to make that. Woah crap! I need to get back in the line and carry on defending because they didn't score" tackle space.
  • Rich Mills' Chip 'n' Chase game is about 95% there (which places him 93% ahead of me). Just needs to work on the tricky "do I try to pick it up, do I hack it forward again" part of the skill.(N.B. it has been confirmed that young Richard was in the Datchworth side that was on the wrong end of "Crockett's Glorious Sunset". He has different memories of said game)
  • Will Kay seems to have added a stone or two and his first hit following his introduction to the game was a testament to this. Or maybe it was the unconventional pre-match ritual.

There was further post match insight* delivered by purveyor of nonsense and man of confirmed virility, Sam Wilkinson who had this to say: "Ryan did a very good kick".

Quite right Sam, quite right.

Catcher of balls thrown by Mills, James Legg was on hand to offer this analysis*, "it was better than last week, we won our own ball in the scrum". Whilst my understanding of what happens in the scrum is equal to that of [insert government minister]'s knowledge of [insert crucial detail ion respect of Brexit] (ooooh! Political!), I'm reliably informed that we did a good job on Saturday. In a area in which we are always doomed to struggle due to the basic laws of physics, new boy James Noble has been a stand out in the last few games after making the mistake of saying 'yeah I used to prop a bit'. And prop a bit he does.

The final word on the game I'll leave to Ben Sudell who took a break from offering himself as a ball carrier and asking if we had any tape to say this*: "I used to eat ants as a kid".

Man of the Match: Yinka Busari

Forward of the Match: Ben Sudell

*Overheard and noted down in Mascara Bar.