Hackney with classic rope-a-dope victory over Stevenage

Did someone order a badly shoehorned, extremely loose sporting analogy? No? Ah well.

Seconds out, round one.

They say styles make fights and no two styes are more suited to a humdinger than size and power vs speed and durability. Stevenage played the part of the big brawler and played it well. A structured, if unsubtle tactic, of trucking some very big guys up the middle had Hackney relying on organised defence early on. They held firm and Rich Frost landed the first counter punch with a duck and weave under the Stevenage posts. 

The Griffins were unable to hold out for much longer though and Stevenage ground away, touching down after some dogged defence. A second try followed shortly for Town when they exploited a overlap to take the lead. Al O'Hara sought to close the gap with some penalty shots at goal but the guidance chips for his North Korean missiles were missing (or present. Whichever works best as a joke). 

The thunderous collisions continued and Sam Alderson (a featherweight under the STRFC weight classes) regularly found himself on both the receiving and giving end (ooh matron!). Likewise, Town's openside flanker was clearly unaware of O'Hara's recent betrothal, seeking him out for intimacy on a regular basis.

The scorecards had Stevenage ahead but they had been unable to land the knockout blow and they began to slow as the contest wore on. This was not before Hackney were given the chance to look silly flailing after Town's elusive outside centre who, when able to actually catch the ball, was extremely dangerous. 

Tries from Paul Baker (Rocky connotation - etc.) and promising new signing, 'A. Maul' kept the Griffins within striking distance but two scores down and with 10 minutes to the final bell, the time to strike was extremely nigh. Cometh the hour, cometh the man with a sharp new lid. Pilkington made the most of his new found aerodynamism (aerodynamicness? aerodynamosity?) to crash over from a yard. 

As tiredness set in amongst the Town ranks, the points deductions (penalties) began to mount. Repeatedly pinged for low blows (high tackles), clinching (not rolling away) and regularly spitting out the mouthgaurd (dummy), Stevenage were reduced to 14 and perhaps should have been penalised further. It was O'Hara who had the final word as he ploughed his way to the line for the deciding score with what is now being referred to as the "Trundle in the Jungle". 

A remarkable comeback was sealed and Will 'Never been Rhino'ed before' Bowers took 5 points to the bank and a deed poll for a change of name to the post office.